Saturday, January 27, 2007

Torn Shreds

I have been having great fun using my new Japanese rotary shredding device to make mile-long linguine of carrots, beets, radishes and anything else I can find at the sparsely stocked stands at the farmers’ market. At this coldest and darkest time of the year the bursts of color and flavor at the centers of those sturdy root vegetables are welcome and restoring.

I have been having almost as much fun reading the box and the enclosed instructions, which promise that my new gadget, made of “brinforced glass,” is “joyful beautiful sharp edged,” and that it will “help your cooking fast joyfully with wonderful edged strings.” The instructions are easy to follow:

Cut various vegetables into a piece of about 8 cm with kitchin knife. Thrust the vegetable by the center to the spike at the blade and also thrust pins of the rotating disc supporting it by hand from the above as shown in the photo.

In this case it will be all right if the vegetable just out from the table.

Even when it is this cold (We got down to nine degrees Fahrenheit in New York this week, and it was thirty below in Deering, fifty-two below with the wind chill, or “below fifty-two as they say up there) you still sometimes need salads.

Salad with Herbs and Torn Shreds

For each serving:

1 handful salad greens, washed, dried, and torn

1 fingerful snipped dill, parsley or cilantro

as much shredded (or grated or shaved) carrot, turnip, radish and/or beet as desired

oil, vinegar and salt

Toss together the greens, herbs, and shreds. Dress with oil, vinegar and salt.

Oh, you know what I bet would shred up real pretty? One of these stormily pink inside-out radishes—I will try to remember to pick one up on next time they are in Union Square.

“Torn Shreds” was the name of a character based on Rip Torn played by Sid Caesar. I could not find any YouTube clips of Torn Shreds, but you could have look at Mr. Bigsby ordering lunch: “ ‘Are you going to engulf that entire pickle?’ ‘Why, yes, sir. I can’t eat a sandwich without engulfing an entire pickle’”

Ed will be gathering together the shreds of this week's Weekend Herb Blogging at Tomato, in Melbourne, where I am guessing it is toasty warm.

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Blogger Ed said...

These machines are great and you have reminded me that I need one. Like the Youtube clip. Thanks for taking part in WHB#67.

8:23 PM  
Blogger Helene said...

The salad looks so inviting. Your right to mellow your soul up with fresh colours.

4:06 AM  
Blogger Kalyn Denny said...

Looks delicious. I laughed because when I went to Beijing with Rand one of the things we had most fun doing was reading the signs which has been "translated" into English. However, we Americans who speak only one language have no right to be so amused I guess! Looks like a nifty gadget.

8:39 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

sooo funny! I love jenglish or any other random translations (I'm quite sure english - Japanese is just as hilarious, especially mine)... and awesome machine!

9:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been wanting one of these gismos for some time. I had no idea of the literary bonus.
It reminds me of one of my favorite cases of demented translation.
My brother attended a month long classical guitar workshop in Brazil many years ago. There, he lived in a dormitory where rules were posted in several languages. The english list had clearly been translated by someone who was armed only with a knowledge of portuguese, and a dictionary. Some rules could be more or less understood, but he had memorized his favorite inscrutible one:
"Omission error could be error, would be consider connive."
We eventually decided that it probably meant something like "Ignorance of the law is no excuse."
People are always saying stuff is ironic, when it isn't. I think that particular rule may actually qualify.

7:35 AM  
Blogger Melting Wok said...

wow, this really reminds me of the fresh vege tray served on the 1st day of chinese new year, colorful shreds of veges to ring in the new year with prosperity and abundance of health, thanks for sharing, cheers !:)

8:24 PM  

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