Reining in the Academics

The latest issue of PPC has a review of The Restaurants Book by Michele Field, reproduced in its entirety below.

T h e Re s t a u r a n t s B o o k : Ethnographies of Where We Eat
David Beriss and David Sutton, editors
Berg | 2007 | 240pp | £17.99

An uneven collection of 13 essays which in various ways ask whether restaurants are not the bulwark between us and the creeping standardization of food. The word ‘ethnographies’ shouldn’t scare you, as despite all the writers being American academics most have been reined in. Sutton’s ‘anthropological meditation on tipping’ spills over the reins – but is almost amusing when discussing why men tip women. MF

I am grateful, as always, to the editors for reining me in. You know that isn’t easy.

מיט װאָס מען עסט עס

In Yiddish, if you wish to say "I am utterly bewildered, I do not have even the shred of the beginning of a clue," you can say:

“ איך װײס נישט מיט װאָס מען עסט עס(Ikh veys nisht mit vos men est es)” which literally means “I don’t know how to eat it” or “I don’t know with what you eat it” The possible ambiguity of this expression is one of the subjects of this comic piece.

The consequences of cluelessness with regard to one’s eating implements are discussed by Hotchkiss and the General in Getting Married by GBS. Hotchkiss has just explained that when in the service, he sabotaged the plans of his commanding officer because he would take orders only from a gentleman (spellings and punctuations as in the original):

THE GENERAL. And pray, sir, on what ground do you dare allege that Major Billiter is not a gentleman?

HOTCHKISS. By an infallible sign: one of those trifles that stamp a man. He eats rice pudding with a spoon.

THE GENERAL. [very angry] Confound you, I eat rice pudding with a spoon. Now!

HOTCHKISS. Oh, so do I, frequently. But there are ways of doing these things. Billiter’s way was unmistakeable.

I was very young and utterly bewildered the first time I read this, and to this day it seems to me that anything other than a spoon is heavy equipment, pudding-wise, but numerous sites corroborate the fork-for-pudding position.

More About Celery

A few days back, Lindy left a comment regarding her remarkable aunt, who, among many other remarkable talents, had the ability to eat celery without making a sound. This account reinforced my impression that celery can only inspire our gentlest inclinations, so I was as surprised as any of you to learn that celery is now banned at Stamford Bridge football matches. According to the Guardian:

Chelsea have banned celery from Stamford Bridge and ordered fans to stop throwing it during matches after the Football Association launched an investigation into instances of salad tossing at their recent matches. . . .

"The throwing of anything at a football match, including celery, is a criminal offence for which you can be arrested and end up with a criminal record," read a statement on the club website. "In future, if anyone is found attempting to bring celery into Stamford Bridge they could be refused entry and anyone caught throwing celery will face a ban."

The statement went on to direct fans to a hotline they could call to report others seen carrying celery, promising that "all calls will be treated in confidence".

This page provides some background for the bemused.

Other antioxidant-rich projectiles to be polted at Sweetnicks.

Fish & Quips: English Food is Not a Joke

I had planned to observe St. George’s Day by writing about clotted cream and tea, the two most perfect foods on earth, but I see from Sam’s exhaustive roundup that this subject has been covered folks who know much more than I. Instead I will simply remind you that English food is not a joke because the English air is the perfect medium for making the world’s greatest cheeses, breads, preserves, pickles, and beers and ales. Oh, I wish I had some right now.

And then there is this:

If you were to stand on a hill during any Sunday afternoon in winter and listen carefully you would hear a low, rustling, crunching sound. It is the entire English nation, eating celery.

--Adrian Bailey, quoting his father in The Cooking of the British Isles

Happy St. George’s Day, and be kind to dragons.